I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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