3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
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