Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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