I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
