I need help removing her.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
