dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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