Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
