I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
