Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
