how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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