If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
