i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
