dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
