At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
