So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
