walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
