Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i was born a porn star she said
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
