So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
