She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
If I die, sorry about rent.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
