I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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