Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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