I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
