is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
