WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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