Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
