I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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