Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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