***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
