Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
