I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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