Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
