member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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