My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Your dad touched me again.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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