i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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