You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
