problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
