Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
