my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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