Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
