This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
