clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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