Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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