If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
