Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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