so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
bring money and cleavage
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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