I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
