i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
