if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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