Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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