Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
