guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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